No, my title isn’t a metaphor eluding to my preference for Asian men. That would be racially offensive and I don’t do racially offensive. Although, I’m sure Asian men are lovely. My title has to do with an incident that occurred with my favorite Chinese restaurant the other night.
Friday eve, I visited my favorite Chinese restaurant in the Bronx. Nobody makes chicken w/broccoli better than this place…wait, there is a place: Chui Fai Restaurant in my hometown of Mayfield, KY., population of probably 10 Asian people. Who knew?! I order my chicken w/broccoli from said restaurant in the Bronx and let me tell you, my taste buds were throwing a party in my mouth just anticipating all the MSG I was about to consume. They’re really quick at this place so it took all of 5-8 minutes to get my order. They handed me the bag, I paid and set off (at a rather rapid pace) to my friend’s house so I could be the greedy heifer that only I know how to be.
I walk in the door, take off my shoes (shoes in the house in NYC, to me, is a no-no) and make a mad dash for the kitchen, food in hand. I grab a plate, knife and fork (I have to chop my broccoli and chicken into small pieces because somewhere in my mind, I have convinced myself that small bites make the food last longer…even though I eat faster). I pull out the container of piping hot chicken w/broccoli in brown sauce with vegetable fried rice. I skip the egg roll because I’m already doing enough damage so let’s not go overboard here. I pour a nice serving on my plate and cut it up into bite-sized pieces. Now I’m ready for the soy sauce, it makes everything taste better. By this time, my mouth is watering. I take my hand and reach down into the bottom of the brown paper bag and pull out my two packets of… hot sauce?!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?
Now, for those of you who know me, you know I am a picky eater and I have to have everything exactly the way I want it or I won’t eat it! It is highly unlikely for me to eat Chinese food without soy sauce but I was NOT going back around the corner just for that. This annoyed me. However, the main thing that really chapped my ass about this whole ordeal was the fact that they gave me hot sauce! Hell, I had an egg roll in the bag. Couldn’t they have put duck sauce in the bag at least? Why hot sauce? Is it because I’m black?!?
At first I thought I was being sensitive. I thought maybe I was reading way too much into it so I let it go long enough to eat my food…sans soy sauce. Later on however, something just kept nagging at me. It kept saying, “Steph, Google ‘black people and hot sauce’ and see what comes up”. I did it. These were the top 5 searches:
-11 Things Black People Love to put Hot Sauce On
-#4 Hot Sauce: Stuff Black People Like
-Why do Black People Eat Hot Sauce With Everything?
-Things Black Folks Do That White People Don’t Understand
-Why Do Black People Love Hot Sauce So Much?
A HA!! They totally stereotyped me! They put two packets of hot sauce in my bag because, according to the top 5 Google searches, that’s what I prefer! Well, I have news for you, my used-to-be favorite Chinese restaurant and Google: I AM BLACK AND I HATE HOT SAUCE! I mean, come on! How would they like it if they visited a soul food restaurant and they stuck soy sauce in the bag with their fried chicken and macaroni and cheese?!
As angry as I may sound about this whole soy sauce-less situation, you have to know my personality to know that deep down, I find it quite hilarious and the first thing that popped into my head was: “comedic fodder for my blog”. So I’m not really mad about it. With that being said, when I do go back to this restaurant to order my usual chicken w/broccoli, I’m going to let them select which sauce they think I should have, check the bag before I leave and if they give me hot sauce again…I’ll go for the best 2 out of 3 because, let’s face it, that’s some good chicken w/broccoli!